Some thoughts that I have atm

Ok first off i have been wondering a lot as to why nice guys do tend to always either finish off last or even second best. for example their are people who i know that have been sucessfull in things recently that they have always wanted or dreamed about, but when it is something that i may have always dreamed, wished or even prayed about nothing has happened, or if it has nothing has even come about it or again i have been told i have been unsuccessful.

I mean in most days i just want to raise the white flag and surrender, but then i think, why should i even do that? It's just allowing other people to win and for once I want to be the winner, so from now on i am going to try and be a bit more controlling and well not so trust worthy to a lot of people (Exluding my partner their cause well, there are certain privlidges that well should always be given and met!)

I have been thinking also about where I see myself in five years time and to tell you it is kind of scary to even look that far into the future, beacuse in some ways i really have no idea where i want to. I know that i want to be able to have the things i have always dreamed about, like a house (preferrably in my favourite suburb, and for those who are close to me who know exactly where i am talking about), have no debts to worry about like i still have thanks to well some very bad decisions from my past that somehow keep haunting me and just generally good health and not have to spend nearly once a month or so in Westmead Hospital - for once! (seriously though i am considering maybe at least buying into the hospital or even maybe buying it, seeming as well i am there just about nearly every couple of weeks - again!)

i guess its just that i am well not so much depressed but just can't understand as to why nice people do finish last and all the kind of nasty and vile people (that i know of, and if you are reading this and spying on me, you know exactly who you are!) and just for once i would love it if you could finish last so the rest of us can actually have a chance to get in first place.

oh well like that is ever going to happen!

Sydney - FAIL!!!

OK well this really isn't directed at the whole of Sydney and really it isn't

I was going to post about this on Friday but thought i might do it now actually, seeming as i am on here.

Anyway i have had my shifts changed at work not that I am complaining, but on Friday i would have really swore at all the passengers on my part of the carriage on the 6.36pm Train from Town Hall to Lidcombe.

the first part is for the so called 'Idiots" for causing damage to the 5th car, causing it to be locked at Circular Quay and St James, leaving only 5 other carriages to utilize as such (being it was a 6 car service). Causing well a small yet disastrous overcrowding problem

Now common sense should somehow prevail here right when their is overcrowding you would think that people instead of being near the door, like i have to be when i am in my wheelchair, actually move up or down or fully actually inside the carriage, not at the doors right?

OH NO WAY TO SIMPLE. People standing the way, people run on knocking into me with their bags and do you think they even apologise - No. how would you like it if i ran over your skinny skanky arses and feet cause your in my way. its not like a wheelchair can fold up into a million pieces just so you can get your arse into the train.

so obviously i got hurt because of people rushing to get into the train and my little problem mainly lies around the fact that people aren't even giving way or using their brains and moving right out of the way, at least have some decency to move.

its only polite and its not really going to kill you know is it? its not like your actually going to miss your stop now either?

so please, i am begging, move fully inside the carriage after boarding your service and if you have either a heavy bag or a big back, take it off and place it in front of you.

If it whacks into someone then don't think they won't notice, actually apologise

So an update - at least

Ok well its been well nearly three months since i have even updated this space now and i thought i had better in a way lol.

So where to start - ah yes my little bitching on Channel seve for being cowards for axing the lesbian kissing scene jaust beacuse of some narrow minded little so and so's could have their way.

I just don't get it, we live in a country that is willing to accepting gay rights and equality to a certain degree but when two guys or girls kiss on screen its 'oh no we can't have that'

WTF????????

seriously get with the program, its not 1975 thank you people, its 2009. isn't it time we greup and well actually got with the program. for example i don't see anyone complaining about Kevin and Scotty and their kisses or shows of affection from Brother's and Sisters, or when showtime/ SBS/ Fox 8 shows Queer as folk or the L word (shudders).

seriously its a kiss and love is love right? so what's wrong with love. if we in the gay community have to put with so called normall straight kissing right in our faces, its abot time we gave some of it back.

To bad if you don't like it i say - SO GET WITH THE PROGRAM PEOPLE!!!

Yay finally its up

Well welcome to what is the first of hopefully many a new posts from the world according to and well through my eyes.

I do have to thank well my best friend Emmz who well helped me get to this spot

So please check regular and come back ya hear as i start posts very soon!